Hilfe im Alltag – Prozessorientierte Meditation

Process Work views any problem, disturbing thought, feeling or body symptom in a theological way. This means that all experiences, the liked and disliked ones are meaningful and purposeful. Exploring a disturbance instead of trying to get rid of it, the inherent unexpected meaning can appear and transform ourselves and the situation in a more satisfying and sustainable way; while trying to get rid of a problem we need a lot of energy to keep our boundaries of identity and the disturbance might come back in an unconscious moment, ‘attacking us from behind’.

The theological perspective has its roots in Jungian analytical psychology. Jung stated an inherent tendency of individuals to grow towards wholeness using dream work as possibility to find structures supporting the personal development. The main question therefore is not ‘why’ has this or that happened (looking backwards), but ‘what for’ is this happening. Everybody wants to avoid pain and difficulty, and everybody fears parts of themselves, like, superficiality, being too powerful or powerless, being messy or too orderly. If these annoying and disturbing parts can be unfolded and enter our identity they transform and we feel more whole.

Everything that catches our attention while doing Innerwork shows us deeper parts that we haven’t considered yet and leads us to greater richness and fullness in life. If I do Innerwork I am more aware of what I am doing in a certain moment and who (which part of me) is doing it.

While I was thinking about my work projects and how to organize them, a long-term shoulder pain bothered and disturbed me. So I thought this is a moment for Innerwork.

Putting my work aside focussing on my right shoulder and arm I sensed numbness in my arm and stiffness in my shoulder, but the arm was also unintentionally moving slightly. When I focussed on that movement very slowly for some time I felt a kind of being in an imbalance. Instead of trying to get back centred in my body I followed this experience further; the left arm of my body felt relaxed and easily moving, while the right felt like not being part of me. Then an image emerged from that body experience: a bird with one wing. So I followed that impression together with moving my body in order to find out more about the quality of that experience. Me, the bird, was flying and to do so, I needed to change my balance point from the centre of my belly towards the left side. I moved through the room visualizing that I am flying with one wing highly up in the sky.

What has been useful and meaningful in that brief exercise?

Even though this was simple, my point of view changed fundamentally. I often sense a pain in my shoulder and my arm getting numb. The usual pattern is to ignore the pain and continue what I am doing or working on or trying to get rid of the disturbance by taking pain killers. Exploring the experience itself and realizing I am a bird with one wing that still can fly in a different way, various insights emerged. One was about disability: Working on a project on disability I realize that disability is about a differing ability, something beyond the ordinary, mainstream. And that it would be interesting to do further research on how we label people with disabilities and what disability means to them. Another aspect was that shifting my inner balance helps to access new patterns and step out of old ones, somewhere beyond the ordinary. This helps me to deal with challenges in life differently, to try out new ways of thinking about a problem – shifting my perspective. So actually the pain, which is very unpleasant on one level, helps me to access a perspective, where I can take difficult moments more relaxed – when inhabiting the bird with one wing flying high above the ground I have an overview in distressed moments with my kids or at work and then think about what to do from that perspective.

In summary the symptom or random body experience is a diversity issues within oneself. We identify with one side only, which for me in this example was to stay centred, to concentrate on my work tasks and to look like “everybody else”. Then there are other parts present, which show up in an unpleasant way, e.g. shoulder pain. Exploring unconscious movements or symptoms can lead towards new and unexpected qualities. Symptoms therefore are not necessarily bad only, but holding a creative process wanting to emerge.

Deciding to focus on the awareness of our perception within the interaction for a moment and stop talking, we both followed what is going on inside of ourselves. Both of us were interested in what is happening to us beyond the content of the discussion and conflict. So I looked for any subtle signal, which can come up in e.g. the body posture, the distance to each other, unintended movements, tone of voice, or body experiences. As this is different to how we all usually relate to each other, we needed to stop the conversation and give each other time to follow that.

Focussing on myself I sense a grounded stability in my feet while the upper body was swinging slightly, connected with a quality of looseness. Staying with that body experience the image of a reed with strong roots, that cannot be pulled up and has got a very flexible and soft top came to my mind – a reed swayed by the wind and moving in all directions. Imagining that I am a reed that is moved by this conversation I realized that I am deeply grounded and can trust that whatever is moving me in this conflict I can stay present. I can let go holding and protecting myself and open up to feeling and being touched. I can connect to my friend even in difficult or controversial situations. This helps me to not just react, when I feel disturbed or hurt, but to stay interested in her as well as in me. The experience of the reed brings an attitude of effortless and unimpressed presence. It also helps me to not just be kind and friendly, but trust, when we bring in all parts of ourselves, that we will be connected through a deep feeling sense and find a consensus.

Through unfolding an inner experience which was unintentionally happening to me the atmosphere between us changed. My friend could soften and stop reacting against the unconscious stability or force she sensed in me and open up in a more feeling way.

In summary, unfolding subtle tendencies in us within a conversation or conflict can help to change the atmosphere. This doesn`t necessarily mean the outer conflict disappears, but helps us to deal with the difficulty in relationship. The Innerwork helps us to be less one-sided and be more aware of what is going on between us in a certain moment.